day 29 on hhcg, day 26 on vlcd

march 1, 2010: weighed 168.4

not sure how or why i gained .8 yesterday but i did. i know that in my last post i was saying how determined i am to stay on the diet for the full 40 days. today i am not so sure. i took my 800 dose this morning and didn't take anymore. i think i am done people! if you look at my record over the past 2 weeks, there hasn't been much change. i am going to finish my 2 more days of not taking the hhcg and then i will start maintenance on thursday. i think i will be able to do maintenance for 3 wks, eat normal for 2 and then start back on april 12 on a second round. next round will only be for 23 days.

a few things i am feeling right now.

i have lost 30 pounds in the past 2 months. people have noticed, which is nice; however, i still feel like i look like i did 30 pounds ago. i am not sure how to change that within myself.

i am concerned that i will not reach my goal weight of 140 pounds by june 2, my goal date. if i do not reach it, will i look like a slacker or a failure..........more importantly, will i feel like that too? i want to do this right and be healthy about it and i feel like my body is in need of a break, but what about my goal?

will i be able to maintain this current weight without gaining it all back over the next 5 weeks? i think this scares me the most!

so there you have it. my thought process in a nut shell. i wish i were one of those stick thin woman who can eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. sometimes i get so tired of thinking about what i am eating and how it will effect my overall weight. it can become an obsession............especially if you want it badly enough! that said, i will not stop until i reach my goal, even if it is after june 2!

i need to post my measurements and do a new picture (i have slacked terribly on that) and then i think i will only do weekly posts of my weight until i start back up on april 12.

so glad i tried this though! i wish i would have known about it way before now!